


pumpkins and blueberries

by evotter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, I have no regrets, blackinnon is here too just kind of rly background like it's barely mentioned, can i ever write something short???? no???? okay, fate vs free-will is kind of a huge theme in this story, it's halloween in the fic wahoo!!!!!, james and lily are precious dorks, lily makes her oWN CHOICES YO, soulmate au meets sort of coffee shop au, this is the first time i've done jilytober and i can't believe i've never done it before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 03:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12572400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evotter/pseuds/evotter
Summary: in which Lily Evans hates puzzles, Marlene McKinnon is a coffee-making goddess, and the stuffy manager with the unkempt hair just so happens to be Lily's soulmate. in the wise words of Mary Macdonald, nothing is scarier than a relationship. Especially if it's with your soulmate.





	pumpkins and blueberries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilevans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilevans/gifts).



> it's officially halloween in my timezone so im POSTING THIS and i will deal with the lack of sleep later 
> 
> this is my addition to jilytober/a lil present for a friend of mine :') this turned out to be a lot longer than i wanted it to but i'm not even sorry i love jily and i love ali so

Lily knows the process: the neat letter _J_ inked into her skin has been there since her soulmate’s birth. According to her mum, her soulmate is about a month and a half younger than she is.

The letter _J_ will remain there until she meets her soulmate for the first time. When she does, the next letter of his or her name will appear. And then, if she happens to run into them again without knowing who her soulmate is, another letter will appear. And so on. Until Lily and her soulmate meet consciously knowing that they’re each other’s soulmate, it will remain like a puzzle.

Lily hates puzzles.

She also kind of hates her tattoo. Just a bit. Because she’s nineteen years old and hasn’t met her soulmate yet, and she’s beginning to wonder if the universe is just making fun of her.

“You’re _only_ nineteen,” said Ruth Evans soothingly, kissing her daughter’s head at breakfast that morning. “You’ve got a long life to live, darling.”

“When did _you_ meet Dad?” asked Lily accusingly.

“I was fourteen.” Ruth answered. Lily had promptly spit out the orange juice in her mouth. “Oh, honey, _really_?”

“Petunia met Vermin—Ver _n_ _on_ ,” Lily corrected hastily, at Ruth’s steely glare, “when she was eighteen. They’re now happily married and they have been for almost a year now.”

“Everyone is different, honey.” Ruth handed Lily a towel to wipe the table off with. “You could meet your soulmate tomorrow. You could _also_ meet him or her in a year or more.”

“That doesn’t help me, Mum.”

“Well, it’s the truth.” Lily handed the slightly-damp towel back to her mother. “The universe hates me.”

“The universe does not.” Ruth threw the dish towel onto the counter. “Your professors, however, might, if you don’t leave now and catch the bus.”

So that’s where she’s at. Sitting on the bus with her bag between her legs, waiting for the bus to drop her off at campus for another day of classes. Lily wonders if she has enough money to buy coffee before class, despite drinking two mugs already this morning, and wonders if it’s actually _worth_ it. She’s never tried the coffee on campus. It’s probably good. It _should_ be, for the amount of money they charge for it.

Except, as it turns out, Lily doesn’t get time for more coffee. She doesn’t even get time to leisurely walk to class. Because she zones out on the bus and ends up missing her stop.

She notices when the bus drives past the building where her classes are. Lily jolts to her feet, hoisting her bag over her shoulder, and yells, “Hey! Wait! Stop—stop the bus!”

To her surprise, the bus driver does, looking stunned as Lily scrambles off, squeezing through the half-opened doors. The bus didn’t stop as quickly as she’d hoped, though; so she’s about ten minutes walking distance from her first class and she’s got five minutes to get there. And she’s got about a hundred university students to push her way through while she’s at it.

Out of all the things Lily was expecting this morning, she was _not_ expecting an obstacle course.

She pulls her backpack around her other shoulder and makes a run for it.

“Sorry!” she yells hastily, as a couple walking students stare at her. She thinks she steps on a few feet, and definitely runs into a few people, but it’s not her _fault_. Okay, it kind of is. But that’s beside the point.

“Ow!” says a voice to her right. “Watch it!”

“Sorry!” Lily repeats again, directly at the voice, and keeps going. The building gets closer. Lily’s legs feel like jelly, or maybe just like liquid, but somehow she makes it to class in four minutes and slides into an empty desk right beside Mary Macdonald just before the professor makes his entrance.

“Hey.” Mary greets, as Lily bends to unzip her backpack. “Rough morning?”

“I missed my bus stop.” Lily says, fishing through her backpack. “Oh, hell, did I forget—”

“Uh,” says Mary. “Lily—”

“—my stupid _binder_? Are you kidding me? I—”

“ _Lily_ —”

“— _swear_ I put it in here this morning. Does the universe really hate me that badly? Hey, could I—”

“Lily!” Mary interrupts harshly. Lily sits up straight. “Look at your finger.”

Lily does. Where the _J_ is inscribed, on the inside of her left middle finger, a new letter has taken form, black and shiny, just like the one beside it. A letter that wasn’t there this morning. A letter that wasn’t there when Lily was on the bus.

Oh, hell.

_Ja_ is now on the inside of her finger.

“Congratulations, Lily.” she says to herself, sighing. Mary gapes at it still. “You just met your soulmate. You just have no idea who the hell it is.”

“What do you mean?” Mary asks, handing Lily the paper she’d meant to ask for. “You don’t know? Didn’t you just meet them?”

“I said I missed the bus stop.” Lily points out, grabbing a pen from her backpack. “I had to run through, like, a hundred students on my way here.”

“So your soulmate goes here, then. That narrows it down.”

“...Uh, _not really_. We’re on a campus of twenty-thousand kids, Mar.”

Mary shrugs. “So? It beats the population of the entire globe. Look, Lil, just go back to that exact spot tomorrow morning at that time and just...keep looking at your finger.”

“I am _not_ doing that again.” Lily shakes her head. “My legs are not happy with me.”

“But...don’t you want to meet your soulmate?”

Doesn’t she? After all, Lily was just complaining about it this morning. But as she sits in her desk, staring at the _Ja_ on her finger, her heart pounding, she’s not really sure.

“Good morning, class!” Professor Slughorn says, interrupting Lily’s train of thought. “Today, we’re going to be discussing something a little unusual from our previous lecture. Today, we’re going to be discussing the concept of free will versus fate.”

Instantly, a hand in the middle of the classroom shoots up. “Professor,” says Benjy Fenwick, “don’t you think that’s a little redundant? I mean, the universe gives us all a soulmate when we’re born. That’s not free will.”

“Everyone is _assigned_ a soulmate.” Professor Slughorn corrects. “It’s up to us to accept it.”

“Are…” Alice Fortescue raises her hand. “Sir, are you suggesting that not everyone ends up with their soulmate?”

“People die.” Professor Slughorn points out. “Not everyone works out. Life isn’t magic like that, Miss Fortescue. Some people find significant others of their own, either after they find their soulmate or before. You don’t have to accept your soulmate.”

_You don’t have to accept your soulmate._

Lily stares at her hand and frowns. _Ja_ stares back up at her. Whoever her soulmate is must have _Li_ on his or her hand, now. She wonders what they think about soulmates. What they think of her. If they know who she is.

God, she needs more coffee.

\---

The campus coffee place is decorated to match the aura of fall. Pumpkins are decorated outside in the front. A couple of them are carved with intricate designs. When Lily enters the shop, she’s hit instantly with the smell of coffee and pumpkin.

“Hi!” greets a blonde at the counter. “How can I help you?”

“Hey.” Lily approaches the counter. She jabs a thumb behind her. “Who made those pumpkins out there? They’re really cool.”

The blonde beams. Lily glances at her nametag. _Marlene_. “That actually would be me,” she says, looking flattered. “I’m an art major. My manager asked me to do it as practice and also to lure more students in. I’m glad someone likes them.”

“I love them. They’re amazing.”

“Seriously, thanks.” Marlene the barista tucks her hair behind her ear. “You know, if you ever want a tattoo done, I’m starting at a shop this weekend—”

“Let the poor girl order, would you, Marlene?” interrupts a voice. A tall, dark-haired boy shoves Marlene aside and places his hands on the counter, palms up. “Sorry about her. She talks everyone’s ear off if you give her the chance.”

“Hey! She was complimenting my _pumpkins_ , you git.” Marlene pushes him away. Giving Lily an exasperated look, she says, “This is my manager. He tells me to be nicer to the customers and then scolds me when I do so.”

“Doesn’t sound like a great manager, if you ask me.” Lily muses, looking at the tall boy. His hazel eyes narrow with mischief. “Anyway, I would love to order, though. I plan to spend the next hour on my paper in that corner over there.”

“Hold that thought.” Marlene grabs a cup. “I have a feeling I know _exactly_ what you want. Give me five minutes. If you don’t like it, it’s free.”

She walks away, whistling some tune off-pitch.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.” says Marlene’s manager. He doesn’t have a nametag on, which Lily finds suspicious, but she says nothing. “Have you been here before?”

“Uh, can’t say I have, actually.” Lily says. “First time here. What’s Marlene making?”

“Beats me.” he shrugs. “She does this thing where she tries to guess a person’s coffee order by reading them as a person. It hasn’t worked thus far.”

“It has too.” Marlene argues from the espresso machine. “You’re just never around to see it.”

The manager rolls his eyes. “What am I charging her?”

“Nothing.” Marlene replies. “It’s free. She complimented my pumpkins.”

“Stop saying it like that. It sounds weird.”

“You just have a twisted mind.”

Lily watches the exchange, amused. Marlene approaches the counter and sets the cup in front of Lily, leaning forward expectantly. “Well?” she urges. “Taste it. Prove my stuffy manager wrong.”

“I’m taking back your raise.” he threatens.

Marlene glares at him. “You would never.”

Lily takes the cup from the counter and takes a sip. “Holy shit,” she breathes. Marlene and her manager both look at Lily in surprise. “This is awesome. What is it?”

“It’s a lavender and honey latte,” says Marlene, grinning pointedly. “It sounds weird, but it tastes amazing. I felt like you looked like a weird-sounding coffee kind of girl.”

“I’m coming here more often.” Lily says decidedly. She holds the cup in one hand and fishes for her wallet. “Can I get a blueberry muffin, too?”

She sets her laptop up in the corner of the coffee shop and puts in her earbuds. She notices Marlene and her manager arguing a bit more and is unable to fight the smile from her face. She doesn’t know either of them well, but she likes them both already. And she wishes Marlene’s manager had a nametag so she knew what his name was.

Lily wonders what name is tattooed on his finger. She wonders if he’s met his soulmate. Likes his soulmate. Believes in fate. He’s cute. She almost wishes she could cover up the name on her finger and never have to worry about it again.

Outside, through the big glass windows, Lily notices a couple arguing on a bench by the bus stop. They both look angry. Lily’s not sure she’s ever seen someone that angry. Other than when she was thirteen and sitting in a hospital room.

Professor Slughorn had said that choosing your soulmate to be your forever wasn’t mandatory. Lily doesn’t know her soulmate, but she’s beginning to wonder if she really needs him or her.

She lifts her pointer finger to stare at the tattoo and she blinks.

There’s another letter.

Her finger says _Jam_ now, in neat cursive letters. She hasn’t looked at her finger for a couple hours—so any student she’s encountered between then and now could be her soulmate. _Jam_ is either a James, or maybe a Jamie. Either way, Lily takes a photo of her finger and sends it to Mary. Her friend’s response is almost immediate.

**[text from: mary macdonald] WHA T?? no wAY do u know who it is???**

_[text to: mary macdonald] cant say that i do tbh but i ran into him again somewhere btwn after class and getting to the coffee shop_

**[text from: mary macdonald] this is NUTS lils keep me updated**

_[text to: mary macdonald] will do xxx_

Suddenly Lily’s term paper doesn’t seem so exciting. Of course, it never really was, but now the empty document makes Lily feel less motivated than she had been five minutes ago. She’s managed to get her heading in, but other than that, she just feels sluggish, staring at her computer like she’s going to be in this very spot for hours, thinking of a way to start a term paper that doesn’t _suck_.

“Need any help?”

Lily looks up. Marlene sits with a donut on a plate, setting it on Lily’s keyboard. “I was going to type there,” says Lily.

Marlene raises an eyebrow. “You were staring at your keyboard like you wanted it to burn. Eat the donut.”

“...I have a muffin.” Lily points out.

She shrugs. “More sugar helps the thought process.”

“Is that true?”

“I don’t know. Probably not. But just _eat_ it.” Marlene leans closer. “My manager thinks you’re cute.”

Lily nearly chokes.

“Ah, right. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that when you were sipping the latte.” Marlene winces briefly. “I just thought I should mention. You walked away and he called you cute.”

“So?” Lily says, but she pointedly avoids eye contact with the counter, where she can see Marlene’s manager speaking to a customer. “It’s not like he’s my soulmate or anything.”

Marlene looks bewildered. “Does he have to be?”

“I...well…”

“I know it’s _ideal_.” Marlene waves a hand. “But people date around. Some people are okay with it, you know, the idea of having more than one partner. Dating someone _knowing_ that you’ll have to break up eventually, whether it’s because you two don’t work out or because one or both of you find your soulmate a little earlier than you intended to.”

“So you believe in the whole free will thing, huh?”

“I don’t know what I believe in.” the blonde says honestly. She glances back at the counter, where her manager is waving a customer goodbye. “Can’t say I’ve had much luck when it comes to encounters with my soulmate.” Marlene shows Lily her finger, which is covered by a ring. She takes it off; a curly _S_ is written in small print, smaller than Lily’s. “So I’m thinking that maybe there are other options for me. You?”

Lily shows her own finger; _Jam_ makes Marlene’s eyes widen. “Yeah, those two other letters are from today.” Lily says, following Marlene’s gaze. “One from this morning, when I ran through about a hundred students on my way to class, and then...one from between after that class and now, when I just looked at it.”

“Huh.” Marlene says. She leans back in her chair. “And you have no idea who it could possibly be?”

“Big campus.” Lily sighs. She takes the donut off her keyboard and sets it next to the muffin. “So, no.”

“Huh.” Marlene says again. Her eyes flit to Lily’s laptop screen. “Well—enjoy the treats and the coffee. Good luck on that paper. I’ll leave you to it.”

She stands abruptly, pushing the chair into the table and walking away. Lily watches her for a moment, then looks at _Jam,_ then returns to her keyboard.

(Marlene McKinnon walks brusquely around the corner of the counter and reaches for her manager’s hand without warning. He starts to protest, but she shushes him, and instead finds his middle finger, moving her thumb aside so she can see the letters engraved there.

She blinks. She says, “Huh,” again, like it’s her favorite word in the whole world, and then goes to restock paper cups.)

\---

The next time Lily visits the coffee shop, it’s a week later. She decides she’ll go once a week only, to allow herself a little extra caffeine only _once_ and to also salvage her wallet just a little bit. Marlene slips her a free pastry, like she did the first time, but this time it’s much less subtle.

“No manager today?” Lily asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Different one.” Marlene clarifies, gesturing toward the door leading to the back of the shop. “Remus is sweet. He’s usually ill, so he just sits in the office instead of making coffees. I don’t mind, though. It normally means he lets me get away with more. So, here.”

“Same coffee as last time?” she guesses.

Marlene stares at her. “What do you take me for? ‘Course it’s not. _This_ one’s pumpkin—I was messing with flavors the other day and stumbled upon this. We usually make pumpkin lattes with the syrup, but I used actual pumpkin puree and chai powder instead.”

“You should open your own coffee shop.” Lily muses, shouldering her bag.

“I’ll open a tattoo and coffee parlor.” the blonde answers, begrudgingly accepting Lily’s money and throwing it in the register.

“Ah, yeah.” Lily says, crossing the shop to her normal table. “Your tattoo artists can drink a latte when they come in. Then they can be buzzing on caffeine when they use a tattoo gun to permanently ink someone’s skin.”

Marlene shrugs. “Every work in progress has its kinks.”

“That’s a rather big one.”

“Oi. I didn’t ask you to come in here and criticize my brilliant ideas.”

Lily laughs. She sets her things on her table and pulls out her laptop. “I’m just trying to make sure your ideas are successful, Marlene.”

“‘I’m just trying to make sure your ideas are successful, Marlene,’” the blonde mimics, turning around to wipe down one of the counters. “Finish your paper, Lily, would you?”

“It’s not due for two more weeks!” Lily protests.

“Then why the hell are you writing it now?”

“I wanted to get a head start on it.”

Marlene groans. “What major are you?”

Lily tucks her hair behind her ear. “I’m undecided, at the moment.”

“ _Undecided_ majors.” Marlene says dramatically. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m really into psychology, but I don’t know what I’d do with it.” she explains. “I kind of wanted to be a teacher, briefly, but I think I’d get too frustrated too soon and yell at the students by the end of first class.”

“Psychology teachers can yell at their students and get away with it.” Marlene points out.

Lily grins and reaches for her coffee. “Did you always know you were going to be an art major?”

“I did.” Marlene reaches forward and pulls a section of Lily’s half-eaten muffin off. “My dad’s an art history teacher here, at the university, so he’s kind of always pushed for it. I don’t know if tattoo artist is what he was going for, but...here we are. If he’s not supportive, he doesn’t show it.”

“That’s lovely.” Lily smiles slightly.

“What about you? What have your parents pushed you for?”

“Um, well, my mum’s a schoolteacher, too. She loves it. I think she’d be thrilled if that’s what I chose to go for as a career.”

“And your dad?” Marlene pops the bite of muffin into her mouth.

Lily clears her throat. “He died when I was thirteen. I was a little too young to be discussing career choices.”

Marlene’s face falls. “Oh,” she says softly. Lily taps the lid of her coffee cup. “I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have asked if—”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind.” Lily assures her. Marlene’s expression doesn’t change. “Really. He’s in a better place. I just know it. Besides, if he saw the way our family is now...it’d probably break his heart.”

“You don’t get along?” Marlene inquires.

“Mum and I do. But my sister’s a shit.” Lily leans back in her chair. “It started after Dad passed and got worse when Tuney met her soulmate.”

“Tuney?”

“Petunia.” Lily clarifies.

Marlene smiles slightly. “Your mum likes flowers, huh?”

“Gardening is her hobby.” Lily agrees. “But yeah. Petunia met her soulmate when she was eighteen. They got married last year. I was invited to the wedding, but I think it was only because Mum demanded it.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“Yeah. Petunia’s not a very nice person. And I tried for a couple years, but…” Lily shrugs. “At some point, I had to realize that she wasn’t ever going to be the sister I wanted her to be. And I’m okay with that now, I guess.”

“I’m sorry that your sister’s a shit.” says Marlene sincerely. “Do you want another muffin?”

Lily smiles slightly. “Baked goods can’t solve life’s problems.”

“They’ve solved mine.” she muses. “Are you still working on that term paper?”

“Yeah.” Lily hums, sighing at her computer. “It’s due on the first of November.”

“What’s it on?”

“Free will versus fate.” she sips her coffee. “I’m supposed to argue for both sides in the body paragraphs and then choose a side by the conclusion. And I can do the research just fine, but... I don’t have an opinion. Yet, anyway.”

“Well...you _do_ have a soulmate.” Marlene points at Lily’s hand. “I mean, we all do.”

“Yeah, but you said it yourself.” Lily replies. “You don’t have to only date your soulmate. And Professor Slughorn said some of the same stuff. And I...well, I don’t know that I want the universe deciding who is right for me.”

“Fair enough.” Marlene muses. She stands. “I’m getting another muffin for you. Keep working on that paper.”

\---

Two weeks pass. Lily visits the coffee shop more than once a week, because she can’t help sitting in her corner and talking to Marlene. She learns that Marlene’s usually-ill manager, Remus, is one of the sweetest people she’s ever met. She brings Mary around, once, and beams when her two friends hit it off. She decides that her favorite muffin flavor is blueberry, which seems generic, but she doesn’t really mind. Life is good.

Then, on a rainy Friday, Marlene isn’t in the shop.

But the first manager she’d ever met is. She notices a few things about him that she hadn’t the last time she’d seen him, which was three weeks ago. His hazel eyes are flecked with green. His hair is wild and unruly and it kind of irritates Lily to no end. She notices, when the light hits them just right, that his glasses are never clean. And when she walks up to the counter, his hands are fidgeting, clicking the pen in his right hand or tapping on the cup with his left.

“Uh, hello,” says Lily, to get his attention.

He looks up. Still no nametag. “Hi.” he says, an easy grin spreading across his face. “You’re Marlene’s friend, right? I met you a while ago.”

“She called you her stuffy manager, if I remember correctly.” Lily agrees.

He gasps. “She called me _stuffy_? I’m going to dock her pay.”

“Uh—speaking of Marlene, though, where is she?”

“I’m not sure.” Stuffy Manager admits. “She requested off. I don’t ask her business. I’m sure it’s nothing dire, though. Marlene’ll tell you all about it on her next shift. Anyway, what can I get you?”

She orders the lavender and honey latte with whipped cream on top and hands him the money promptly. She doesn’t get a muffin today, mostly because she doesn’t see any blueberry ones on display and also because Lily’s wallet is literally empty. After Stuffy Manager gives her a quick smile and walks toward the espresso machine, Lily takes her usual seat at her usual table.

“Oh, hold on!” Stuffy Manager says, waving to get Lily’s attention. “What’s your name? I forgot to put it on the cup. You know, so I can call it out so you know when your drink’s ready.”

Lily surveys the coffee shop and raises both eyebrows at him. “You and I are the only two in the shop right now.”

He waves the empty cup in the air. “Name, love.”

“Lily.” she answers, and leans down to pull her laptop out of the bag.

(If she were looking, she’d notice his entire face drop.)

She retrieves her cup from Stuffy Manager minutes later and pops earbuds in. She’s almost finished with her paper. With any luck, Lily can get it done by today and not have to spend Halloween weekend working on it instead of partying with her friends. But the words start to float off the computer screen. At this point, she feels like she’s repeating the same phrase over again just to make her paper look longer. Lily feels like Kronk. _The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco’s poison._

Then Stuffy Manager slides a plate with a blueberry muffin onto her keyboard.

Lily stares at it, and then at him. “I didn’t see any up there,” she says accusingly.

He shrugs and hands her a note. _If Lily comes in, give this to her! -Marls_ , it reads, and it’s so sweet that it makes Lily smile. “Read the back,” he says.

The back says _If you don’t, James, I’ll kill you._

“James?” Lily echoes, looking up at him. “Is that your name?”

“Yeah.” Stuffy Manager— _James_ grabs the nearest chair and sits in it, leaning back. “James Potter.”

“Lily Evans.” she introduces.

“You know, Evans, I’m a little hurt you didn’t ask for my name the last time we met.” he teases. Lily pulls the wrapper off the muffin and eyes him.

“You didn’t ask for mine.” she counters. “Shouldn’t you have a name tag, anyway?”

“Lost it.” James says cheerfully.

“When did you lose it?”

“First week of work.” he pats his chest like it’s something he’s proud of.

Lily blinks. “And you haven’t gotten a replacement?”

“It’s in my room somewhere.” James reasons. “No need to get another one.”

“Can’t you get fired for that?”

“Nah.” he shrugs. “My dad owns this place. Technically, it becomes mine when he passes. So...he can’t fire his son. I mean, he _can_ , but Dad won’t. He loves me too much.”

“It must be nice.” Lily says, picking at the blueberry muffin. “To have an on-campus job almost instantly. What year?”

“This is my second year here.” James says. “I’m nineteen. I’ll be twenty in March.”

“Oh, same.” she sits up. “Well, I’ll be twenty in January.”

James grins. “An older woman.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “What are you studying?”

“Criminology.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Didn’t peg you as the criminology type, that’s all.”

“Oh?” James raises an eyebrow. “What type did you peg me for, then, Evans?”

“I don’t know.” Lily takes the muffin off her keyboard and sets it beside her coffee. “Just not criminology, I guess.”

“Informative.” James teases. “So...this big paper you’re working on. What is it?”

“How did you know I’m writing a paper?”

He points to the computer screen. “Nobody writes more than four pages for anything unless it’s a paper. Plus, it’s properly formatted for one. And I can see the header.”

Lily sighs. “Fair enough. It’s for Professor Slughorn.”

“Ah.” James leans forward. “Is it the fate versus free will paper?”

She frowns. “Have you done it?”

“No. I don’t have to take that class. My best friend’s in it, though.” James runs his hand through his hair and adjusts his glasses, squinting at her computer screen. “Says it’s a shit topic.”

“Well, your best friend’s right.” Lily says. “I don’t get the point of it.”

“I think he’s trying to give you the chance to choose. Like, we all have soulmates. So we all have a fate. But by doing this paper, you could choose free will. I mean, you don’t _have_ to stay with your soulmate.” James points out, watching her carefully. When Lily says nothing, he says, “Or do you think you’ll stay with yours?”

“I think I have to know who they are first.” Lily says finally. “I mean...I hope I like my soulmate. I don’t want to think that I’ve spent the last nineteen years hoping for someone who will finally understand me and be there for me and then I meet them and they’re nothing like I’d hoped.”

James is quiet. Then, very softly, he says, “I hope they’re what you want them to be.”

Lily opens her mouth to reply, but then the bell over the door dings. A small group of students bustles in, shaking their umbrellas over the floor and lowering the hoods of their coats.

James gives Lily a look of disdain that makes her laugh. “I’ll be right back.” he says, standing up. She watches him as he disappears behind the counter and puts on a smile that she can tell is fake.

That’s it. After spending twenty minutes talking to him she can already tell when his smile is fake.

_My manager thinks you’re cute_ , Marlene had said.

_So? He’s not my soulmate._

_Does he have to be?_

Does he? Lily looks over at him. The fake smile is still there as he writes someone’s name on a cup with a Sharpie. She supposes that he doesn’t have to be her soulmate. She could date someone who isn’t her soulmate. She could _choose_ who she falls in love with, and maybe she’d be better off.

Lily rubs her finger and then looks down at it. Whoever _Jame_ is, maybe they’re not—

Wait.

What?

A new letter. When the hell did that appear? Hadn’t she just looked at it before she’d entered the coffee shop? She’d been getting off the bus and opening her umbrella, and the name _Jam_ in dark ink was on her hand, clear as day. There was no _e._  But now there’s an _e_. _Jam_ has become _Jame_.

And Lily’s heart plummets.

She shuts her laptop before she can even think. She stands up, the loud scrape of her chair covered by the chatter of the students at the counter. All Lily can think is _go, go, go_ as she shoves her laptop in her bag and zips it up, throwing it over her shoulder as she grabs her umbrella.

God, she wishes Marlene was here. Or Mary. Or her mum. This wasn’t where Lily was supposed to find out who her soulmate is. This isn’t who Lily’s soulmate is supposed to be.

Didn’t she just say she wanted to choose him?

But the decision’s made for her, isn’t it? The universe really hates her. Lily chooses the person that the universe already has. James’s birthday is in March. Two months after Lily’s. It makes sense. The _m_ had appeared three weeks ago, when she’d first come to the coffee shop. Now an _e_ is on her hand. If Lily leaves now and comes back tomorrow, the _s_ would probably appear too.

It means something else. If Lily has four letters, then James has four letters. And Lily’s name is only four letters long. So he knows. The _minute_ she’d said her name, he must have known. It must have clicked. And yet he stayed and made conversation with her.

Knowing. If James hadn’t known that Lily was his soulmate, would he have spoken with her? If he didn’t know that she was his soulmate, would he have _chosen_ her? Like she was starting to think she would choose him?

Lily’s out the door and she doesn’t look back. It’s raining, but she’s too busy running to open her umbrella, so she just clutches her bag to her chest and runs to the bus stop and tries to ignore the pounding of her heart.

\---

_There is no such thing as free will. It could be argued that there is, but I can say from personal experience that there isn’t. The universe is cruel that way. The universe tricks you that way. The universe makes you believe you can make your own decisions and then the universe tells you that it’s already made that decision for you._

\---

“I met him.” Lily blurts, standing in the front hall of her mother’s house. She’s soaking wet, but miraculously her backpack has survived.

Ruth’s eyes are the size of dinner plates. “You did?”

“I did.” she says.

“You...don’t sound happy.”

“I don’t know if I am.” Lily drops her bag. She kicks her rain boots off and hangs her sopping wet coat on the rack.

“I thought this is what you wanted, honey.” Ruth tucks her daughter’s wet hair behind her ears.

“Yeah.” the redhead answers, biting her lip. The coffee shop seems a million miles away. Campus seems like a place she never wants to go back to. “I thought so, too.”

\---

_The definition of a soulmate is_ _a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. In this world, we’re given a romantic partner. In this world, we think that we’re destined to be with our soulmates. It’s destiny. It’s fate. It’s also an assignment. An assignment we’re given at birth with a due date of the day you grow old and die with your soulmate. A name etched into the inside of our fingers. My soulmate’s name is on my right middle finger, which means that my name is on my soulmate’s left middle finger. They complement one another. We’re supposed to compliment one another._

\---

What is _wrong_ with her? What’s wrong with James? Nothing is wrong with him. Lily likes him already. In fact, three weeks ago she was practically begging the universe to let her meet him. And it did. And now she decides she doesn’t want it anymore?

Lily doesn’t like fate. She doesn’t like free will, either. She wants a third option. Maybe a mixture of both. Maybe something entirely different.

**[text from: marlene mckinnon] Hey!!! I totally forgot about this but my manager is throwing a Halloween party and he said I could invite anyone I wanted to I am extending the invitation to you!! It’s tomorrow. Are you free?**

She stares at the message for three minutes and wonders if Marlene knows. Or if Marlene guessed. Or if Marlene has any advice because Lily feels like she’s ready to explode.

_[text to: marlene mckinnon] your manager james is my soulmate_

So maybe it sounds okay when Lily doesn’t actually vocalize it.

**[text from: marlene mckinnon] Would you kill me if I told you that I kind of already guessed it?**

_[text to: marlene mckinnon] honestly no i wondered if youd picked up on it_ _  
_ _[text to: marlene mckinnon] i probably would have if id known his stupid name before today_

**[text from: marlene mckinnon] Oh, honey** **  
** **[text from: marlene mckinnon] What happened?**

_[text to: marlene mckinnon] we were talking and then a group of students came in and i noticed that i had another letter. james and i were the only 2 people in the place and my hand said ‘jame’ so i. kind of put 2 and 2 together_ _  
_ _[text to: marlene mckinnon] and then i ran out before he could see me_

**[text from: marlene mckinnon] ….Oh, honey** ****  
**[text from: marlene mckinnon] Do you want to text me your address? I can come over with coffee and pastries** **  
** **[text from: marlene mckinnon] Mary too?**

\---

_And most people love their soulmates._

\---

“You must have really been freaked out.” Marlene says. “I can’t _believe_ you left your coffee there. And your muffin! I was ready to fight someone over that muffin.”

“I’m sorry.” Lily murmurs. “I just...ugh, I suck.”

“Yeah, you do.” Mary agrees. When Lily glares at her, the brunette shrugs. “I’m trying to sympathize.”

“What Mary _means_ to say is that you probably made a mistake and you’re just now realizing it.” Marlene corrects, smoothing Lily’s wet hair away from her forehead. “I mean, do you like James?”

“I’ve had one conversation with him.”

“So? Just because you’re soulmates doesn’t mean you have to marry him right away.” Marlene wraps her hands around her coffee. “My parents were together for seven years before they got married.”

Lily stares at her. “ _What_?”

The blonde shrugs. “They wanted to make sure that they really knew each other. I mean, just because the universe said they belonged together didn’t mean they were sure of it themselves.”

“Lily,” says Mary, “soulmates or _not_ , you’re still in a relationship with a person. You both have to work for it. You both have to choose it. The universe just plays...I dunno, ultimate matchmaker or something. The universe does the easy part.”

“Just because it’s fate doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.” Marlene agrees.

The redhead groans and rests her forehead on the lid of her coffee. “I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot, Lils.” Marlene promises. “Honestly, if I found out who my soulmate was, I’d probably run for it, too.”

Lily groans. “Not helping.”

“Well, maybe this will help. Do you want to see James again?” When Lily doesn’t answer right away, Marlene says, “That Halloween party tomorrow is at his house. I invited you. If you want to go, we can go, and you can sort this whole thing out with him.”

“It’s _Halloween_.” Lily points out. “Do you really think he’s going to want to have a serious discussion with his soulmate on Halloween?”

Mary reaches over and pats Lily’s hand. “Nothing is scarier than a relationship. Especially if it’s with your soulmate.”

\---

_And I think I’d like to. But it’s scary._

\---

“Hey! Happy Halloween!”

The first person to greet them at James Potter’s house— _mansion_ , more like—is Remus Lupin. He’s dressed in brown corduroy pants and a green v-neck t-shirt. He eyes Lily, Mary and Marlene with a smile, who have shown up to the party as Daphne, Velma, and female Fred, respectively. “Nice costume choices, gang.”

“I told you I’d find two other girls to come as Velma and Daphne.” Marlene tells him.

“Back at you.” Lily replies. “Do you have a Scooby?”

“Yeah, I do—my friend Sirius. He went off somewhere and I haven’t been able to find him for about half an hour now.” Remus frowns at the crowd around them. “When I do, though, we need to take pictures.”

“Okay. Sure.” Lily agrees. She cranes her neck. She sees a few familiar faces from around campus, but no one that she really knows. “Is James around somewhere?”

Remus’s eyes soften. He glances at Marlene. “Yeah. Somewhere. He’s probably with Sirius, actually. If you want to follow me, we can find them together.”

Remus pushes his way through the crowd, followed by Marlene, then Lily, then Mary. Lily sees Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom in the corner, talking and laughing; she remembers during primary school when they’d met and discovered they were soulmates. It worked for them. It could work for Lily and James.

“Ah!” Remus cries, over the chorus of Monster Mash. He points toward the end of the room. “There they are!”

‘They’ turns out to be a man in a giant Scooby Doo onesie and another with a white sheet over his face, standing and talking by the punch bowl. Scooby Doo sees them first. Lily’s heart stutters in her chest.

“Sirius, meet Marlene, Mary, and Lily.” Remus says, gesturing from Scooby Doo to the girls. “Marlene, Mary, and Lily, meet Sirius. James and I work with Marls, and Lily and Mary are Marlene’s friends.”

“Lily.” Scooby Doo greets, sticking his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” Lily asks, despite herself.

“Sure.” Sirius smiles. “Hey, Remus, why don’t we take Marlene and Mary to find a good place for us to take a photo? Lily can join us later.”

Sirius drags them away before Remus can even say a word. Lily watches them go with raised eyebrows and then turns to the white sheet. “Is that your best friend?”

“Uh-huh.” James answers.

“Okay.” she says. “Nice costume, by the way.”

“I was so preoccupied with planning the party that I forgot to get one for myself.” he admits. His hands move, making the white sheet billow for a moment. “Thus, stupid, stereotypical ghost.”

Lily cracks a smile. “Have you ever seen the video of the ghost shuffling around the corner before it gets hit by the door and falls over?”

James laughs under the sheet. “I love that. I cried the first time I saw it.”

“See? So your costume’s not totally stupid. Actually, it’s very uni-student appropriate. Considering how broke we all are.”

He laughs again. Lily kind of wishes this wasn’t his costume, though, so she could see the look on his face. She can’t even see his eyes in the dim lighting of the room. It kind of sucks.

“Hey,” she says. “So about yesterday—”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” James says quickly. Lily frowns. “If you don’t want to. I’m not going to force you to—”

“I want to.” Lily says. She means it. “I do. We kind of have to, anyway. Eventually. Now that we know.”

“Yeah.” he exhales. “Now that we know.”

“You found out before me and you said nothing.”

“I’d only exchanged two or three words with you.” James pointed out. “And I didn’t even see that your name was fully on my finger until I was walking over to the espresso machine.”

“Yeah.” Lily looks at her own hand and then holds it up, moving her pointer finger so he can see. “Well, yours is fully there now, too.”

“Look at that.” James says. Lily can’t tell if he’s actually looking or not. “Um, so...we’re soulmates.”

“I guess we are.” Lily agrees.

“Is that...okay?” he bends a little bit, Lily notices, to meet her eyes before standing straight up. “You and me? I’ve got to be honest, I’m kind of hopelessly in love with the idea of soulmates, so if you aren’t okay with this it’ll crush my heart.”

Lily laughs. She can hear the grin in his voice, how it shapes his words. “It’s okay,” she says. Her heart skips a beat. “I mean...it’s not going to be easy, anyway, will it? Even if we’re soulmates? We’ve both got a lot to learn about one another.”

“That we do.” James agrees.

“At least I know you think I’m cute, though.”

He’s silent for a moment. Then, voice strained, he asks, “How do you know that?”

“Marlene told me three weeks ago.” Lily muses, unable to keep the smile off her face. “I think she knew then, that we were soulmates.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me.” James muses. “Marlene’s always been really smart.”

“I hope she finds her soulmate soon.” Lily muses. “Keep an eye out. She’s got an _S_ on her finger.”

James blinks through the sheet. “Sirius has an _M_ on his,” he says.

They exchange glances. “Do you think…?” Lily asks.

Her soulmate— _soulmate_ —shrugs. “Let them figure it out. And if they are...we'll worry about it then.”

\---

_The truth is, if you were to ask me where my stance is between fate and free will, my answer is neither. I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m grateful for the universe giving me my person, but I wish I had chosen him myself. Because I would have. I know that I would have chosen my soulmate myself, if I were given the chance._

\---

Lily takes a picture with the rest of her friends and James’s friends—and James gets thrown in there, too, just for laughs. It turns out to be the best Halloween party that Lily’s ever been to for a number of reasons. And at the end of the night, before Marlene does, Lily notices that a little _i_ has taken its place next to the _S_ on Marlene’s finger.

She gets James’s number and spends the next three hours texting him. Her mum notices the change in her demeanor when she gets home that night, and Lily thinks that Ruth’s responding smile better is than any of Lily’s have been.

\---

_When you think about it, the universe does give us both. We get assigned a soulmate, but we still have to make it work. Fate gives us our partner, but free will is how we stay together._

\---

On a Monday afternoon Lily enters the coffee shop and inhales the smell of coffee and pumpkin. Marlene’s pumpkins outside are gone, because October is long over, but paper leaves in fall colors have been pasted on the windows for the November ambiance.

“There are more pumpkins coming soon.” Marlene promises, when Lily walks in. “Probably. I just have to buy more. The usual?”

“Surprise me today.” Lily answers, leaning against the counter with a smile.

Marlene does. “This one,” she says, sliding the to-go cup to Lily, “I call Butterbeer. Caramel, toffee nut, and a hint of cinnamon.”

“So why is it called Butterbeer?” Lily asks, taking a sip as she reaches for her wallet.

The blonde shrugs. “Dunno. To fool people.”

“Oi, put that away!” James says, appearing by the espresso machine, swatting a hand at Lily's wallet in a shooing motion. “You don’t pay.”

“I’m robbing your dad of a cup.” Lily says unhappily.

“My dad doesn’t care.” he responds, turning his back to her to grab a blueberry muffin from the display and placing it on a plate.

“ _I_ care.”

“There is one way you could pay, I suppose.” James muses, bracing his hands against the counter. Lily knows it before he says it. “You _could_ kiss your super attractive boyfriend hello.”

“Ugh,” says Marlene, making a face as she looks between them. “Please tell me you’re not going to be this disgusting all the time. I might have to quit my job.”

“You can’t quit!” James exclaims, whirling on her. “We need you here!”

“Then don’t be gross with your girlfriend.” Marlene retorts. “She was my friend first.”

“Uh, she was my _soulmate_ first.” he argues. “Hello? My initial’s been on her finger for the past nineteen years.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“What do you mean, it _doesn’t count_?”

“Guys.” Lily interrupts. Both heads turn to look at her. “I love that you’re fighting over me, really, but if you keep doing it I’m just going to leave.”

James looks at Marlene. “I’m taking my break,” he says.

Marlene rolls her eyes. “Fine.”

He accompanies Lily to her usual table and sits across from her. His eyes are more green today, Lily decides. His hair, as always, is unkempt. But he grins at her like she’s the sun and it makes Lily’s heart melt.

“So,” he says. “Did you get your term paper grade back from Slughorn?”

“I did, actually.” Lily says, smiling at him over her open laptop.

“And?”

“I got an A.”

“Seriously?” James’s grin widens, if that’s even possible. “Lil, that’s amazing!” Lily beams. James grabs her free hand in both of his and run his thumb over her knuckles. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Well, it’s all thanks to you, anyway.” she muses. “I don’t think Slughorn was expecting any of his students to discover their soulmate while writing the paper, but I did.”

“You did.” James agrees. His smile turns soft. “And I’m quite glad you did.”

“I guess I’m glad I did, too,” she agrees, feigning reluctance. James flicks her on the nose. “Oi! If you want me to keep coming to your coffee shop, don’t flick me on the nose, Jem.”

“Oh, you only come here for the free coffee.” he shoots back.

Lily laughs. With her free hand, she takes a sip from her latte. “You’re right,” she says. “It does help that the barista’s pretty attractive.”

“I _know_ I am.”

“I was talking about Marlene.”

James’s eyes go wide.

Lily grins. “I’m just _kidding_.”

He frowns at her, jutting out his lower lip only slightly. “You better be.”

She laughs, leans across the table, and kisses him. It’s not the first time she has, but it feels like it. She thinks maybe that’s part of the magic of having a soulmate.

_Thanks, universe. Guess you don’t actually hate me after all._

**Author's Note:**

> validate me & leave some comments if u will :) happy halloween, jily didn't die, i love coffee!!!!!!
> 
> (the criminology major for jem and the tattoo artist job for marlene go to the james, sirius, and marlene to my lily. sirius is also a criminology major i don't know if i mentioned that in the fic rip)


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